As far as I can remember I’ve always been fascinated by the human condition.
When I was a teen, my father felt he could help curb my apparent shyness by throwing me into a 1-year acting course, I’m glad he did because from that point onward, I had a love affair with storytelling.
As the years of study in film & theatre went by, I struggled to find written scenes that best described how I was feeling, so I started writing my own material in an effort to express the way that I interpreted the world around me.
I remember in 2013 I was studying Film Acting in Hollywood at the John Kirby Studio. Side note: John’s brother is the late Bruno Kirby who played Clemenza in The God Father Part 2.
Working with John gave me the confidence to write my own monologues to describe the state of melancholia, irresistible-dark-sabateourish feel I was rocking under the iconically trepidatious street lights of East Hollywood at the time.
I remember romanticising darkness with a philosophical and existential heart. Unconsciously, recurringly, setting myself up for heartbreak due to that being the main narrative within films I was watching. Blue Valentine a perfect example.
At one point I was determined to get a tattoo that said “The essence of love is uncertainty.”
Ironically, at the same time, I had just begun working with an energetic practitioner who introduced me to the concept of the soul, and that I could connect to my spirit, commonly referred to as the “Higher Self” (I have continued working with her until this day).
So through her teachings, I adapted this affirming stance, that I am not limited to thy human flesh, and am connected to a consortium of light that knows no limitation.
So here’s where it gets wet.
I found out that I could perform a monologue at an Agency Showcase which would mean I would be seen by other agents.
I remember locking myself in my dark almost windowless room, sipping on the occasional whiskey to calm my nerves, and finally, viola! I had the monologue down. This was my own writing, and I was proud of it.
When I arrived to the audition, there were 60 or so other actors lined up.
I kept repeating “I AM my I AM Presence” non-verbally, as a way to acknowledge my Higher Self, which is what my teacher Lenita recommended affirming as often as possible throughout my day, regardless of the context.
I kept repeating it over and over to help me to stay connected with the character I was about to embody.
Before I knew it, I was at the front of the line. As I walked in, there were 3 different agents, each with their own individual assistants beside them, I thanked everyone, sat down on the stool provided, and proceeded to close my eyes.
What I felt then was a deep connection to my spirit in a way I’d never experienced before, it felt like the key had entered into the lock and the door was opening for me.
From that second onward I intuitively felt that each word I would utter as this character would be charged with the intention that I chose, it felt empowering.
Almost like I had held a chiseled sword that spoke a language everyone knew.
The next morning I called Jana, the agent whom gave me exceptional feedback. I then proceed to asked her for representation and she said quickly remarked she wasn’t interested, she then hung up and I was quite deflated.
30 seconds later the same number calls me back. Hello? I said. “Sorry, is this Igor,” Yes, I remarked, “Oh I’m so sorry, I loved your performance and would love to sign you, why don’t you come to meet me at my office.” she said.
This was a really important moment in my life. It proved to me that if I worked hard enough and believed in myself enough, anything was possible.
Previous to this I was working in The Digital Media Department of an Advertising Agency, I can relate to getting this role the same way.
I was a fish out of water, I was failing maths at school, even with a tutor, but here I was responsible for coordinating millions of dollars for financial clients and providing them with weekly return on investment reporting, as well as offering and forecasting future profits.
I stayed there for a few years and eventually took on account management duties.
If I look closely, there’s a theme here in my life where I’ve been placed in certain situations to learn valuable lessons, and they’ve all been invariably interconnected.
Let me give you another example. I remember when I was living in LA, I swayed my way into a job as a waiter at one of the most exclusive Italian Restaurants in Beverly Hills.
I once heard something about Russell Crowe saying that he learned how to wait tables just by acting the part. So that’s what I did, I did the work to play the part of a waiter.
I had no prior experience as a fine dining waiter, not even close to the degree of attention to detail that the role required.
Make sure you’ve got nothing in your mouth, ready? My first table was a private function with none other than Jackie chan, his brother, his agent, and his entire family.
Can you imagine what I was feeling?
I didn’t even know the etiquette of how much wine needed to be filled within each glass. I barely served anyone in my life.
So what did I do? I mirrored the other waiter I was working with, I performed everything a few seconds after him. I kept my eye on everything he did and performed in real-time.
Did i do a great job? Probably not the best, but I survived to tell the tale because I still had the job.
The next day involved walking Sylvester Stallone back to his car and placing a large pizza in his Bentley.
I proceeded to then shake his hand with eye contact that insinuated that, maybe, this aspiring actor from Australia, could also get a tip?
Sly had already handed $100 over to the restaurant (that I would never see), unfortunately he wasn’t buying my performance, regardless, I walked back to work with a big grin on my face.
Since then I’ve worked as a Sales Manager for a tech company. I’ve waited more tables, been unemployed sleeping on a mattress on the floor of a converted garage, on friends couches, worked for social enterprises, and then finally, found myself in the world of human connection and creative expression.
With spirit always by my side, I’ve never stopped in my pursuit to fully enter the flame of who I am truly am.
As a result, this process interestingly involved periods of not knowing how I was going to pay my bills, or where I was going to live. Something I would never have imagined for myself having had a business degree and years of experience under my belt.
I had to tether with a new way of being and relating with the world, where I could let go of the fixed idea of how I thought things should be, and create new patterns that left me open to new possibilites.
This allowed me to develop a deeper connection with my inherent nature and gifts, in some way I was anchored into a place that lived outside the system, but could still effect change within it.
When facilitating workshops with The Human Connection Movement, I would enter these timeless states of bliss, there would be this acute feeling, a very specific thread of energy that can be best described as entering a state of Unity Consciousness.
I would love witnessing groups of people all synchronised with their heart beats and energy, the magic was so palpable that during these life affirming moments, I found it difficult to see myself doing anything beyond this.
After all, I wanted to feel that sense of elation, meaning, and impact all the time.
Believe it or not, this was the intiatiory blind spot I entered, where i was guided through tough love, to realise that there is more to me then just this one expression magic.
This was really difficult to get my head around, but I have to be clear here and say the excitement did stagnate after around the time spicy flu showed up, which meant we could no longer hold face-to-face events and had to find a way to create experiences online.
I couldn’t find the motivation to get event’s up, things just weren’t flowing, in theory everything looked great, but we weren’t getting the momentum we wanted with the marketing and funds needed to promote our events.
I could feel I needed to go another direction, it just wasn’t clear yet what I was supposed to do. But my mind was always like? you just peaked? where do you go from here?
The last few years I’ve been living in the mountains in a beautiful house over looking Mt Wollumbin, which means “warrior”, or “fighting chief of the mountains.”
Wollumbin is a volcano that erupted million of years ago, which resulted in the molten lava shaping the caledera within the region I’m living in now.
I feel very connected to this land.
What I realise now, after all this time, is i have anchored deeply into the foundation of my being, my base, which connects me to the earth, which then influences how I relate with my environment.
I’ve discovered that i have versatile and chameleon-like approach to life, and that I am constantly changing, growing, and evolving.
So when I approach something, whether it be a new project, a new home, a task, or a relationship, it’s important for me to recognise that I will relate to this environment this way.
Right now, I sit in this place where I have much more clarity on how I can share stories with others through my love of writing, this has come through the learnings I have acquired through my life experience, which has been supported by my interest in people, connection, storytelling, spirituality and love.
What also really excites me, is my place as a healer.
Even after having many experiencing over 6 years connecting thousands of people, it’s still emerging for me as to how I should best share my innate healing gifts.
Coincidentally I find that really exciting, as it mirrors the ever changing unveilment of the creative process of unbecoming who I thought I was, and allowing the essence of who I truly am, to flow through with it’s own way.
Let me give you a visual. It’s as though I'm connecting the cord of my being, to a socket that is plugged into a universal field that is connected to an endless supply of infinite potential which has no boundaries or limitations.
So to lock myself into saying I am just this or I am just that, is almost a defilment against what I truly am, or could be, which is always constantly changing. A lesson I constantly learn, over and over again.
So the question I ask myself now is, how do I lead without having to be something that is locked in, or have a specific technique or way in which I provide healing or support.
What if i created an internal harmony from within, and this intelligence had it’s own natural way of speaking for me?
Then people who saw me or went to my website would have to feel whether it was right for them, rather then have to logically disseminate whether it was in alignment. I think I’d attract some pretty interesting people.
I’m trying to explain the nuance of something that cannot be explained but only felt. So far, the best way I have found myself being able to honestly convey this silent truth was through facilitating eye-gazing workshops under The Human Connection Movement.
I noticed that over 6 years of running workshops, people experiencing and feeling something in silence they would not have felt prior to the same degree or volume. The experiences they had with others were life-changing for them, including me, and they all occurred in silence.
With my copywriting clients, it’s very similar.
Recently an insurance company approached me to write the copy and create the tone for their new website, I knew very little about insurance but, I didn’t need to, because in this process, I’ve recognised that one of my talents is my ability to jump into the mind, heart, and soul of any brand or business and write what is being called for.
Perhaps even surprise people a little bit. Some might say Insurance isn’t that exciting, how do you get fufilled by this?
I say, that’s not what the founder of the business thinks. My role is to really feel where she is coming from, to resonate with her brand, feel her inspiration, and envision how she sees things, and then do my own intuitive sense making as to how to tie that all together.
To me, that’s exciting.
What I’m essentially doing, as I come to think of it, is interpreting energy that other people are sharing, through their passions, and being able to guide that energy into a physical place, that has a connection to an environment, that allows businesses to more accurately interact with their target audience, to create more meaningful engagement and fulfillment.
This is the work. This is creativity. A nonlinear process that keeps expanding, growing, and evolving.
Who knows where I’ll end up next, but I’m staying curious, open, and ready to step into the next challenge to the best of my ability.
Life’s like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.
~ Igor Kreyman
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